fear is even louder
I’ve never been so scared.
I made my friend a replica of the iron helmet from skyrim for his birthday. it was a bitch to make, but watching him run around drunkenly fus ro dahing everything in his path made it worth it.
gaahhhhh
my favorite prof just sent me an email saying, “you are one of the smartest students I’ve ever taught. why are you consistently doing so poorly in your classes?”
cue feeling terrible about self. she’s not the first person to tell me something like that, and she won’t be the last. I must be a teacher’s nightmare (or as my prof said in the email, a teacher’s heartbreaker). all potential, no motivation. I know I’m completely capable of having a 4.0, and if I just tried I could easily get into a master’s program. but sometimes I just shut down and I just want to sit and stare at the wall and try not to think too much.
I know I’m smart. I don’t know why I have so much trouble acting like it.
this is the stupidest problem and I want it fixed more than anything. if I could be even half of what I know I could be…
